Warning Signs

Stage Five clinger, from the movie Wedding Crashers

Stage Five Clinger

So, you just met someone, and she seems great. Then she says something…strange. Maybe she’s just quirky and you need to get used to it. Or maybe she’s Ali Larter in that movie Obsessed, hands down the scariest movie ever. You may laugh at this list, but psychotic chicks are no laughing matter. If something doesn’t seem right, trust your instincts and move on. Presented in no particular order…



  1. She owns more than two cats.
  2. You find her waiting outside of your apartment uninvited
  3. Something just doesn’t feel right. Trust your instincts.
  4. Her favorite or only topic of conversation is her Dad.
  5. She calls you too much. How much is too much? You’ll know it when it happens.
  6. She pulls the classic “I forgot something at your place” trick.
  7. She only has guy friends.
  8. She used to be, or is, a stripper.
  9. She says “I’m not crazy”, even though you never asked.

This list is unfinished. I need your input. Help guys everywhere keep their car insurance premiums down.


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